One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
