All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
