We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
