Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
