There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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