I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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