There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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