Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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