between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
