NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
