drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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