the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
