We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize