He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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