Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
