he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
