K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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