Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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