Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
