shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
