# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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