we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
