Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize