I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
