You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So here I am, sexting at work.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
