the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
