Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Randomize