are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
