he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
