I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
FUCK WHALES
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
