new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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