4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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