We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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