i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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