I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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