well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize