these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
