Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
