I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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