Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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