the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
