Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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