Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
