Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
