Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
