think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
