so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Farmville is her only friend.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
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