dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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