ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
