i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
