he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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