It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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