literally had 100 drinks last night.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize