i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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