Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
