I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
