ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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