drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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