just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
