hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
