I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
