I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
