So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
