i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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